Noodlebowl

Scales

It is no secret that I love food. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The love of food results in weight gain. This effect can be counteracted with exercise and or self restraint. I’m not real good at keeping up with either of those. It is a simple equation; calories in, calories out. But I’m not very good at maths either.  We visited my mother on the weekend, I knew she would say when she saw me that I had put on weight. True enough after 4 weeks of truly enjoying all food in Europe. Not 5 minutes in, there was the comment. A younger me would have crumbled. An older me hopefully won’t care. But this me, wavered slightly but just sighed with anger.

Why does it matter so much?I’m not huge by any means. Most of the time, I am in the healthy weight range. I acknowledge these facts. Yet I know I can be fitter, thinner, better… and this constant struggle is boring me. The constant voice telling me to go to the gym, not to eat that, to eat this, you know you should. Blah, shuttup already. I don’t want to waste any more time counting how many almonds I ate today or exercising just for the sake of filling that 40 minutes of cardio. I am seeking balance, seeking to find the joy of exercise again, not constantly thinking that I should lose weight and to be healthy. 

How many of us silent voices are there in the cold section of the supermarket reading the calories/ingredient makeup of the yoghurt? How many of us are standing in the line of the coffee shop thinking that yes, I can have a hot chocolate because I did 45 minutes of spin today? Shouldn’t we be using that time to better use? Are you bored yet? I sure am(yet I am still employing my usual tricks of wearing baggy clothes and not looking at myself in the mirror to get me through this ‘fat’ phase, stupid stupid stupid!)

You’ve just been in Italy - it’s like the land of food. It’ll drop off as you get back to normal life and if doesn’t then you can spend a month or so being ‘good’ and it’ll be back to normal. You look fine, as always.

I hear you!

I always think you look great! I understand the struggle though. I get addicted to things - unfortunately it hasn’t translated to getting addicted to exercise. Although I find that coming home from work and dancing around in the lounge room to music for half hour is fun.

The important thing is - how do you feel? Not - what do the scales say? If you feel good then who gives a flying monkey’s butt what the scales say. If you deny yourself things that make you feel good, then you make yourself unhappy.

I hope you are feeling better now. You’re a sexy thang darl, don’t forget that!